Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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