y did u give ur computer a hand job?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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