Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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