please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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