so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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