I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
