I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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