Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
