but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
