We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
