Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize