do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
