Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
