i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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