i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
