I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
