we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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