if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
