fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
