We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
