If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
