3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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