You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.