Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line