I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack