So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight