oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game