Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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