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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)

  (540): View more from Virginia

  awesome babe! drinks tonight!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

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• (315): View more from New York

  I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"

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• (858): View more from California

  He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...

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• (421): View more from

  your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal

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