I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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