We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize