Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
