you would pick up someone in the library
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
