The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
