Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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