My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize