in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I need a beard to bite.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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