....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
4 words: hood of his car
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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