New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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