I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
