I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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