It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
