I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
