so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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