Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize