I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you never un-have a 4some
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
