oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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