What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
