Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize