Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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