I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
