I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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