If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize