yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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