Did I show you my penis last night?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
