I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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