Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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