The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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